Everlasting Cold
by daedricgurl
Summary: Beware the cry of the Wendigo, for if you hear it you're sure to go. No one can be quick if you're it's pick. Beware the chill of the fear that fills because for sure you'll be the next to go. Highschool is a terrible thing. The things that come with it are supposed to be harmless. No one was suppose to get hurt. No one was supposed to disappear. These were myths after all..
1. Chapter 1

"_Dear diary, _

_This is the first time I ever write something like this. Mr. Kirkland said it is good document. Sorry if I do wrong. Let me introduce myself to you Mr. Diary, my name is Fèng_, _as in Fènghuáng. Isn't that cool? I was born in Hong Kong and lived in small apartment there with my Father, mother, and older brother. I live now in Ottawa Canada. Father and mother passed away, and my brother and I were still very young, they wouldn't let him take care of me. I was adopted. I haven't seen him for very long time, and even though sometimes he was really mean and pushy I really liked him and he took as best care for me as he could. He lives in great big Beijing, and my adopted father Mr. Kirkland who now I live with lives in Ottawa. I am 12 years old and Mr. Kirkland has 2 son that live with. Matthew and Alfred. Matthew had a different father. I like Matthew lot because he very quiet and smart. Matthew and Alfred are both 14. I don't meet Matthew's father. They both are nice to me because my English isn't perfect. I write better than speaking. _

_Mr. Kirkland always seems sad that I don't call him Arthur or dad, but I don't see why I could call him that. I call my brother Yào-gē, that is all affection I say. _

_School here is very different. It is all play it seems like, I feel often left out because I am new and akward (spell?). _

_The weather is so cold, not like home. Right now it is only 5 Celsius. At home it is 19 Celcius. I want to jump into Hong Kong bay and have big brother pull me out and scold me. I miss the festival and fireworks and the food. –"_

For the moment, the thick leather bound book is shut gently; dusty looking blond hair slips messily around a pale forehead. They frame emerald orbs which stare longingly up at a white ceiling. His hand, long fingers stroke the worn cover. The date on that page read November 30th, 1994. Arthur Kirkland couldn't help but take a trip down memory lane as he thinks about that very first page. Feng, his little Feng had neat handwriting for being foreign. That hound of a big brother was smart to teach him English from such a young age. That Yao hated him with a passion right now.

The book is revisited; crisp darkened and sometimes wrinkled pages were flipped open. The entry was at random. Arthur once more getting a peek into his sons life, he felt odd doing this without Feng's permission. Permission? Did he really need that now…?

"_Dear diary, _

_ I'm very distressed that we had again to move. I'm sorry to not have written for a few weeks now, is it? Time flew. This school that they have me in is so small, this whole town is—I don't know what possessed that man. Food poisoning. One day over breakfast Mr. Kirkland says to us, "well boys, we're moving." And that was that.  
Whitehorse is devilish. It's cold, it's cold and it's hardly fall—this is worse than Ontario. He couldn't pick a better capitol? I'm so not into this._

_I feel more ostracized here for sure, I mean, in Ottawa it was different because it was such a bigger place. I had friends at least. But here I feel like I cannot get hand or foot in any threshold. _

_Often times I am teased and Matthew can only do so much. Alfred is never found anymore. Grade 9 is a joke, but I can't imagine Grade 11 any better judging by Alfred's behavior. He has many friends and plays on the basketball team. He always is with them, what would he say if I told him his two best friends tormented me? _

_Matthew has a sport also. Mountain biking? It's odd, I've never seen a secondary school offer such a thing. I like Matthew's friends though I don't speak often with them—he is wise to hardly bring them to the house. Mr. Kirkland surely will scare them off. _

_Even though Mr. Kirkland moved us so far away, I don't blame not making friends easily on him. I like him a lot, I can do math and speak well. He took me to England once while Alfred and Matthew stayed in Quebec with Matthew's father. Wrong direction in my opinion, but it did open my eyes. No regrets. I liked it there. –" _

Arthur stopped reading there and noted the date again, September of 1997. Feng was 15. He hadn't changed much as a child to a young man except that he had a bit better grammar. He also cut his hair to fit in more as when he was young he wore it like his brother. Started Grade 9 he snipped it, it was a messy but fitting appearance. Feng didn't act it, but he had such a wild heart. Many needs hidden that he never had satisfied.

Perhaps the most interesting and appalling part of Feng was his… way of demonstrating emotion-or lack there-of. Feng didn't talk a lot, he didn't smile a lot, nor did he frown. What Alfred and Matthew fondly called serene, others called arrogant, stuck up, cold. People just couldn't understand him.

"_Hey! Leon!"_

_Feng turns at his adopted nick name, the only ones that used it tended to be the other kids and teachers. Not that Feng was too hard to say, Feng figured they were just trying to make him more like them. He felt like it wasn't working… What a shame._

"_Yo," He raises his hand briefly in greeting, though obviously very guarded. This was the giant Ivan-never out right tormented by him, but he was on the basketball team yet not exactly friends with Alfred. It was like the huge dude was in limbo. Sometimes he said a few odd teases, and other times simply sent him a look in the hallways; god he was weird. Ivan is a rather daunting man to stand closely infront of, it's something Feng can't help but think as he cranes his neck back to look at a childishly grinning face. Ivan is in Grade 12, so it was odd for him to talk to Feng. The upperclassmen tended to avoid the underlings as much as possible. Feng didn't blame them; a lot of his class were dumb ass pricks. To put it nicely. _

"_Listen, Gilbert wants to have a party,"_

"_The flunky albino dude?"_

"_Ha yeah," Ivan had a nice laugh, Feng decided—so he warmed up to him a bit, Ivan carried on speaking. "Wanted only chill people invited. Alfred talked about you a few times, and I've seen you. You're not crazy so I figured why not." _

_Feliks chose that time to walk past, making a small jab, _

"_Yeah but like, he isn't really 'anything' if you know what I mean."_

_Ivan rolled violet hues. "Shut up no one asked you, go back to the kitchen. That wasn't even a clever comment." _

_Feng sort of let out an odd sound really at that—kind of like a cough/gag/chuckle breathy thing that had Ivan raising a brow at him._

"Was that a laugh?"

"_It was a yes." _

_Feng was stoic as ever though, but Ivan could see then it was a hard schooled face. Feng had laughed and the sound in itself made him want to laugh as well. Ivan almost felt bad, almost. Feng wasn't a bad kid, he was just too naïve and innocent. At least… That's what some of the other boys at school said. _

"_It'll be at ten. Come whenever, yes?" _

"_Yeah. Will do."  
_

_Ivan was about to leave when he heard Feng's mellowed voice again._

"_Hey wait. Thanks."_

"_Don't thank me. It's not a big deal."_

_But why did Feng have such an odd sinking feeling?_

A page was rustled and turned, keen Emerald eyes taking in words, drinking them up. Looking at the life his adoptive son lead and absorbing it hungrily.

"_Dear Diary,_

_ Today I was invited to a party. I talked to Alfred and Matthew about it. Matthew said he would go with me, Alfred said he'd already been invited. I feel better knowing they're going to be there at least. I have to lie to Mr. Kirkland and that feels weird, I've never sneaked out before. They said there would be alcohol, and that I didn't have to drink it if I didn't want to—I'm not sure what I'll do yet. _

_I have to start getting ready, Matthew wants to help me dress. I'm nervous and excited. This is my first outing._

_I hope I'll make friends._

_I have no reason to be scared…-"_

Mr. Kirkland stopped reading that entry, he didn't need to read anymore. That entry was the last entry in the book. He felt himself bubble up with rage. He knew about the party, Alfred and Matthew told him about it that night. Arthur remembered it with a chill down his spine.

"_You don't have to do this if you don't want to, Feng."_

_The two boys, Feng and Matthew were walking in the middle of the street, the snow wasn't thick here, both bundled up and arms hooked through eachother before traced back into their thick coat pockets. Well, Feng's coat was thick while Matthews was not. He was used to the cold, telling Feng once that he even enjoyed it! Feng called him crazy. _

"_It's a chance for me to maybe like, I don't know—be cool for once. Or something, I don't know." _

_They were walking around a bend in the winding road. If they looked far off into the distance they could see the dark outline of a forest in the night. The neighborhood they had to go to was a decent distance away—required late night walking, but they really weren't scared. It'd taken some time to cross a boulevard, a bridge going over iced up water, and were far enough past their Secondary school to judge it'd only take a few more minutes if they kept their pace brisk. They couldn't help though but stop on the road that lead north towards the hospital, staring into the forest when a particularly cold wind seemed to sweep out from it and wrap around them like icy tendrils. They shivered, huddled closer and continued down the road at a pace similar to a jog. The guy that wanted to hold such a party lived to the left of the road they were jogging down in a crescent, or sort of drive at the end of that street. The house was fairly new, two story with no fencing—a straight shot from the back of the house to the forest a sprints distance away. It was a little unnerving, that that was because Feng was used to big cities, one can't help but be a little paranoid.  
Alfred had headed to the party previously via a ride from some friends, leaving Feng and Matthew to walk but neither really seemed to mind. They also had taken forever to get dressed. Feng was dressed warmly in dark slims jeans and calf boots that had a creamy coloured fur inside, a long beige colored coat with a fur hood, collar and cuffs. The layers beneath where a white long sleeve shirt with a deep maroon coloured sweater. Matthew was dressed similarly, though was enjoying wearing a bit more black, light jeans with long sleeved black shirts and sweaters and also a thick and dark beige coat similar to his Chinese counterparts. Alfred probably looked more stylish since he'd gotten a ride, that lucky bastard. _

_Their cheeks and noses equally and attractively red when arriving into the warm house and being greeted by boisterous voices in greeting. The two looked at eachother, Matthew reading the smile in Feng's eyes, while Feng could see the smile on Matthew's pale and thin lips. _

"_We don't have to split up if you don't want to." Matthew tossed their coats into the designated closet, turning in time to see Feng shaking his head, his wild tresses following the action. _

"_No it's fine. I hear games. You know I'm on that." Matthew rolled his eyes at this._

"_Yes well I'm going to go find someone to dance with me."_

"_Che, good thing I don't dance." _

_They both waved and split up, Feng to join in a game of classic twister (which is very unlike his reserved self), and Matthew in hopes of finding a warm body. _

_Playing twister with all of these unknowns was so much fun, Feng barely showed his enjoyment though as he tried to twist around a companion and reach his designated colour with an awkwardly bent arm and hand. He recognized one person to be the pretty girl everyone called Elizabeth, the king himself; Gilbert, and another boy that Feng couldn't quite recall the name. Another hyper Asian he'd chosen not to get involved with up until this point. _

_Feng won this game with a few disguised nudged. All is fair in love and war after all—Feng sure did love to win. _

_Playing sure did make him thirsty though—and he was completely uninterested in the vast amounts of alcohol laying around. He'd found his way to the kitchen and made a cup of water, indulging in it until he heard some fairly boisterous shouts and jibes from the living area just outside from where he was. He couldn't help but go to check it out, a bit appalled at what he saw. A young boy, pretty blond hair and soft green eyes, fond of reds and golds by the color of his clothes-trembling little body held in a restraining fashion of that Ivan boy while he poured vodka down the boys throat. The kid coughing but seemed to drink it easily-though unwillingly. Everyone watching was laughing. Ivan was a childish bully, but Feng hadn't ever really acted scared of him, in return Ivan sort of left him alone. It was too bad that today was the day they'd get involved with each other._

"_Knock it off." Feng couldn't believe he'd opened his mouth. The noise dimmed down a bit at that. Ivan looked at him with interest and the boy he held looked at him with a mixture of relief and pity too. What an odd combination… _

"_I'll do what I like."_

"_Well what you like isn't what he likes."_

_There was another long silence as they stared at each other, and slowly Ivan's fingers loosened their hold and let the boy go. Feng heard a cry of 'Raivis!' when the boy searched out his friends arms. Feng didn't see this though. _

"_Aaawh, you took away my fun." Ivan pouted with a childish sort of smile on his face. The look wiped of his face however when from behind someone swept Feng off his feet. Feng was able to tell this wasn't something Ivan had planned, nor wanted-but yet still nothing was done about it as he struggled with someone far bigger than him. _

"_Well if you're going to take our fun away, you should at least make up for it." He was held in a similar fashion, alcohol obtrusive to his nose. The young man grasping him was tall, build similar to the Russian counterpart but darker. Darker hair and eyes. _

_ "You act all high and mighty, someone ought to teach you a lesson."_

_ "No stop! It's not like that!" Feng's eyes filled with an attempt at hiding panic flash in the direction of such a distressed voice, Matthew was trying to make his way past the people to help him, but he was restrained. No one ever would have thought it'd turn out this way; Feng with his arms pinned to his side and trapped in someone's lap. He felt a hand on his jaw, a glass to his lips and a golden liquid splashing inside his mouth. A lot of this dribbling down his chin, but enough making it down his throat and burning it's way to his stomach. It was a dirty whiskey, something he'd never been introduced to. After the second forced shot Feng couldn't take it any longer. A scuffle ensuing when he slammed the side of his head into his tormentors nose. What had Feng been thinking? That a party would make these asshats change their ways? This was probably what'd they'd been hoping to do…_

_ Feng managed to find himself standing, alcohol never settling well in the stomach of Asians. Matthew breaking free and trying to come to Feng's side. After that point, Feng didn't know who did it, but a punch was thrown that sent Matthew crashing into his arms, and he just went crazy. The two of them together doing their best to fight back, they were both flung backwards out of a screen door into the backyard, Matthew scrambling to his feet with a bruised jaw and aching shoulders-he pulled Feng to his feet just as three more boys flung themselves on the worthy opponents. _

_ Feng was more than a worthy opponent, and once more he threw thanks to the wind for his brother. Flexible in all directions, nimble on sure feet as he dodged, parried, thwarted and made swift jabs. But all the spinning and jumping he was forced to do didn't let the alcohol settle well with him. He found his head spinning suddenly and he smartly slid backwards from the fighting. Pulling Matthew back with him, their hands locked around each others arms for stability. _

_ "I feel like I'm gonna be sick." Feng tells Matthew honestly, Matthew remains silent but Feng knows the boy is trying to figure something out for them after that statement—the other boys were quickly converging on them after all. Some of their worries were quickly assuaged though when a rock hits one of them in the ribcage-he cringes and hunched forward as it was a rather large pointed stone that would surely bruise. Their attention was turned towards two boys or palor. Feng described them as the weird brothers of their school. They were unaffected by the cold. Dull blue eyes remained on the drunk instigators while vibrant violate ones stared hard at Feng. He stared back. But the staring contest was quickly ruined when an arm grabbed Feng by his free wrist-due to still holding tightly onto Matthew they were both jerked into a sprint. Short black hair was bouncing infront of his face. The small frame was quick on his feet, and it took all of Feng's concentration to remain connected to the Matthew keeping up behind him-and also keeping up with the student in front of them. Their breathes came out in quick steamy puffs from the sprint, the shouts behind them angry and audible as they got away-but went silent the minute the entered the fringe of the forest._

_ They were plunged into an eerie darkness, but yet the snow that made it through the evergreens and the sporadic dead trees somehow had an eerie glow on the forest floor. The three ran for a moment longer, diving over a fallen damp log and huddling behind it. Although Feng had crawled a few more feet away and was throwing up wretchedly. The spot he'd spewed in was steaming, and the two left leaning heavily on the log and catching their breath had turned away. _

_It'd appeared they had safely gotten away. Feng sinking onto his side in the damp snow for awhile to rest his warm forehead in the cold snow. Their savior watched, a hand on his chest as it rose and fell rapidly. _

"_Thank you for helping us… Who are you?"_

"_Honda, Kiku. And don't thank me yet. We still have to get back out and hope they aren't waiting for us." _

_Kiku and Matthew both turned towards Feng, but the boy was sitting up on hands and knees. Looking up intently into the forest ahead of him. He saw the strangest, tallest shadow pass briefly- heard odd crunching and steps in the snow. _

"_Did you… Hear that?" He rasped out, hoping he wasn't going crazy, but at the same time—really wished he was…_

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__**If you're even remotely interested in seeing more of this story, please be kind and review. **

**Second attempt at horror story.**

**Hope you enjoyed. Depends on my fans if there will be another installment to enjoy.**

**Thank you,**

**Daedricgurl**


	2. Chapter 2

_Warnings: Minor gore. (In my opinion.) Please read at own discretion. _

_Pardon for time discrepancies and the like. _

_If you have questions; do not hesitate to ask, I will answer them. _

_And please; freaking **REVIEW**, thank you. _

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_Staring up as he was into the tightly netted branches of the surrounding forest, Feng didn't seem to notice much else around him. A slight warm tingling and itching in his toes going unnoticed, the feeling of his ears twitching when Matthew steps forward some; closer to them, it also went unnoticed. An odd smell is starting to permeate the area, a sickening smell at that-like gore. Like a rotting carcass that's been left in heat and sun to bloat up and pop rotting ooze that even the most desperate of vultures would never touch. _

_ That was when they all got the biggest scare of their lives, when the scent was about at its peak; a pale face pops out from some of the evergreen foliage above. A total of seven and half feet above, towering over the five-five of Feng, and Kiku who was slightly taller, and even Matthew who stood not much taller than five-nine at the time. The face was feminine in all; the hair that wisped around the gaunt and drawn face was wild, brown leaves and twigs stuck in the fray. And despite the hallow, practically glowing eyes, and the taught skin-she was rather pretty. Deceptively so._ _She stared at them, unblinking, and they stared back; fearfully. They weren't sure if what they were seeing was a figment of their imagination or not. _

_ For some reason Matthew's eyes were drawn upwards from her head to see what looked like branches curling out from the needles of the evergreens. To his trained eyes though he could tell those weren't branches. They had the appearance of antlers actually. They were smooth and held no lines that the trunks of the trees around them held. Their points appeared sharp and deadly, several of those elongated points curling up from the main thick bases. Whatever compelled him to look down to the stocky bases of the trees were beyond him, but he did. He saw the hind legs of a wolf between the bushes and low hanging branches. But talons were practically curling from its' naked paws. The feet almost looked burned and sheered completely of fur but for a thin layer of grey. The tail that hung between the legs was thin and matted. Feng slowly stood up from where he'd been crouched at about the same time Matthew took a step back and snapped a twig rather loudly in the silence that had been all around them. The magic between them and this new-comer instantly broken. It's eyes widened rather suddenly, the golden glow that came from them turning red and it opened it's mouth-the orifice turning into a gaping maw of black and fetid stench when it revealed long, dagger teeth and the mutilated and bleeding inside of it's mouth. It let out a scream, if it could be called that. The sound was hardly humanoid at best; it resonated throughout the forest, like a mix of the howl of a wolf, the call of an elk and the scream of a dying rabbit. It sounded of the horrors of nature, of evil and darkness and pain. It sounded like death in all of its painful glory. The creature came crashing from the forest it had partially hidden in, it's arms unnaturally long, fingers curled and talon like and reaching out for them hungrily. Blood was caked beneath it's pointed nails-or claws, or dagger nails- unnoticed by the three that turned and fled desperately from the scene. They jumped the log, scrambling madly back in the direction they had come from-crashing behind they knew that thing was on their tail. Feng pushing at their lower backs, urging them onwards and giving them more speed with each push he could give._

"Run! Run and don't look back! Do-"

_His fingers which had been curled into the shirts of Matthew and Kiku's backs were ripped away. A taloned hand had curled over his shoulder, thick nails catching into his skin and jerking him back. Matthew had turned to see this thing catch hold of Feng, trying to turn around and run back but Kiku had grabbed his wrist._

"Don't! Matthew, keep running! Don't stop-he told you not to stop!"

_Matthew's arm remained outstretched towards Feng's raised one. He cold see the beautiful glow in Feng's eyes, isolated as they were and dulling into a depressed hopelessness. Everything felt like it was slow motion to him as he watched his brother ripped away from them. Talons digging into his chest, red darkening his already dark red sweater. And then Feng was jerked back into the trees with this creature without so much of a scream. No sound uttered, not a rustle, not a whimper or moan. There was no wind. There were no creatures of the night. Silence but for the pounding of Kiku's and his own feet in the snow. Their heavy panting as they fled for their dear lives. Tears streaming down both of their faces. _

_-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-_

"_What the fuck do you mean my brothers ran into that forest? What the hell is your problem? I swear to god after they come back, I'm going to kill you."_

_ Alfred stood near to the edge of the forest, having already beaten down one of the boys that had laid a finger on Feng and was rounding off on one of the others that had dared mess with Matthew. The boy having had no idea of anything that ever happened to Feng throughout the school year, and then to find out that they'd intentionally wanted to pick a fight with Feng and gotten Matthew involved, he was beyond livid. And he would have laid down another punch if it weren't for the screech they heard from the forest. He looked up, that didn't sound like anything either of his brothers would have made; it made his deepest fears surface, a bubbling darkness welling up in him that he was barely able to shake off. Deep inside he wanted nothing more than to step away from the fringe of darkness, the coldest of fears itching up his legs and clamping around his heart. That was when they heard the scrambling and crashing finally from within the forest, and breaking from it came two torn boys; Kiku and Matthew, both ripped up from the branches they had crashed through-taking tumbles onto rocks, and scraping past sharp ice lined tree trunks.  
They were not alright; it was easy to see that, there was nothing but unadulterated fear in their eyes as they crashed into Alfred's firm body-sending him stumbling backwards but yet he managed to stand his ground and hold them as they clutched at anything on his body that they could reach. Matthew sinking and sagging against Alfred until he was on his knees at Alfred's feet, clinging to his pants and his face buried in his legs. Matthew and Kiku still had one hand joined to each other-and they were white from circulation being cut off and they didn't appear to want to let go any time soon.  
Alfred was stunned beyond measure at the wetness against his throat where Kiku was hidden, and then the wetness against his knees where Matthew's head was bowed. There was nothing but silence as the people who had filed out watched this. Confusion evident but no one dared to speak. "Matthew…" Alfred whispered, his jugular bobbing and his eyebrows were dipped low. "Matthew…" The boy flinched into his brother's legs, he didn't want Alfred to ask that question-the question he knew was coming. He wailed. But Alfred had taken a count, there was a number missing-and he had to ask. "Matthew… Where is he? Where is Feng?" He felt Kiku sob, but whatever sound that might have been was drowned out by the muffled wail of Matthew. He bit into Alfred's pants and trembled so greatly that it looked like he was possessed by an inner earthquake. _

"_It got him." Came the not so steady voice of Kiku. The sound filled with such a deep terror that it was a wonder Kiku had even been able to utter it._

"_What got him?" Alfred tried fearfully, his voice almost catching._

"_I don't know." Kiku sobbed pitifully, "I don't… Know…" _

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Arthur Kirkland kept the reports that had been filed shortly after Alfred and Matthew had returned from the party right after the incident. Arthur remembered being awoken so frantically-he hadn't been angry that they had been out, he was glad that at least two of his sons were safe. Leon's disappearance had broken his heart, and no more information could be gleamed from either Kiku or Matthew after they filed the missing persons report. Rangers came and talked to the boys, and soon after so did some 'officers', and after that; the two never said another word about it. They longed to talk about it yet at the same time hesitated and refused to, because what had happened didn't settle well with them. It continued to haunt them and Arthur could see it. Matthew had become slightly depressed, for whatever he had seen had left a big impression on him. The boy certainly became withdrawn and would no longer draw near to the forest. Arthur also noticed that Matthew's new permanent companion was the smaller framed Japanese boy; Kiku.

Aside from those rogue thoughts, Mr. Kirkland was leafing through the small manila folder that has so _kindly_ been left for him. The report was vague, brief and had no answer to it.

_Disappearance with no traces left. In a five mile radius (north) around the point of disappearance, unlaced shoes found intact, side by side at the base of a tree. _

_No other traces of life, no tracts, no sign of struggle._

After a week those rangers had suddenly been ordered to abandon the case and it was treated as though it had never happened. This folder and Feng's journal were all that he had left of the boy besides the shoes that had been left behind.

If there was no struggle, had he simply run away and somehow left no traces? Had he been killed and carried away so swiftly? Had he frozen to death and remained buried under snow and roots?

Was it painful?

Was he scared?

Mr. Kirkland uncurls his suddenly clenched fist, staring at the whiteness which rapidly turns red as blood rushes back into the appendage. His Feng had disappeared a year ago. If he wasn't dead then—he certainly was now.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

_Blood flowed brightly in beautiful crimson rivulets through the snow, digging slow trenches as it oozed its way along, congealing before another onslaught of the warm life fluids joined it-rewarmed it and let it carve a few more inches. This was a forever occurring pattern until the snow all about Feng was died in the gorgeous hue. That was all Feng saw, red behind his eyes, red all of his limbs-all over his torn, mutilated limbs. He felt the most extreme of pains, but yet it was so extreme he felt as though he couldn't feel it at all. But he knew what was happening, knew the extent it should hurt, and yet his throat was so coarse and dry he could not scream his agony. He felt deaf to all around him except the slopping, crunching, and squelching that his body was able to make. These things sounded so inhuman to his ears, his mouth gaping up like a dying fish for air. His lungs would no longer take in this desperately needed resource.  
His chest and stomach had been shorn open to reveal every organ and bone and muscle. A head plunged deep within his gut, trying to press further in but his ribcage and sternum kept his rapidly flapping heart safe. Its maw tore and gnawed and ate him from within. What stopped him from breathing must be those sharp antlers pricking through his revealed ribcage and muscles and into the sacs themselves. He heaved and heaved but to no avail, and even though he was slowly suffocating, and even though he was rapidly losing so much blood-he was still alive. Forced to watch as this creature reared its ugly head and grinned a stinking smile at him. His intestines scattered and severed and twisting around and out of him on the cold ground. His eyes rolled and his legs kicked fleetingly when long fingers began to pry at his sternum and ribcage until excruciatingly they cracked under the pressure and were slowly torn in pieces from his body. And how was he alive? How was he staring into the sky? How was he so rent and torn and __**alive.**__His lips moved but he could utter nothing, no wisp of air, no gasp of pain. Nothing._

**Oh please God, let this end. Please God, no more…**

_His body didn't even jerk when he felt a deepening coldness surround his heart. It heaved and fretted like a Finch freshly locked in a cage. Until suddenly, with a frigid breath over it, it stopped, and Feng's eyes slowly blinked closed and then open again. Staring up at the sky, the boy noticed that slowly he felt none of the hot blood around him; he felt none of the tears in his body. He felt nothing but cold now and saw nothing but the sky through the branches above him. His body had been held in such a tense state from the shaking he had received from the ravenous creature that the fact his body wasn't being dragged and shaken across the snow finally allowed him to sink into it, finally allowed him to be still… It's maw was still locked around the quiet heart, it's lips managing to remain pulled back in a grin. And slowly it's breath of icy tendrils licked at Feng's silent heart, and his lashes, heavy with flecks of blood came to a close. _

_Feng felt so pained._

_Alone. _

_Scared. _

_The last image he saw in his head before everything turned black and blue was Matthew and Kiku, the fear in their eyes-and the thought that of all people he'd never want to see that in them again._

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_Once again, **REVIEW**_

_I would really freaking appreciate it. It'd help a lot. _

_Thank you for reading. _

_Stay tuned for the next installment, if there will be._


	3. Chapter 3

_It took only a few days after the event in the forest for the written about Yào-gē to find out about his little brothers disappearance. It was a fright for Alfred and Matthew when they heard screaming and crying in the kitchen, for it had only taken Yào a few hours to call Arthur after finding out. When they had crept to the doorway to watch, they met the sight of Arthur both crying 'I'm sorry,' to screaming 'It's not my fault!' If they listened more carefully they heard a distinctly Chinese accented voice doing much the same—though more tortured sounding and torn, 'I'm sorry! How could you! He's all I had left! I'm so sorry…'_

_They had never heard anything like it; their confusion was only heightened when Arthur had broken Chinese placed intermittently throughout for when Y_à_o's anger and grief made him forget everything else. _

_It was one of the events after Feng's disappearance that had a lasting effect on them._

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'I should have helped you… Why didn't I? I'm a coward, no! No… You wanted to protect us, me, you told us to go… but just because you told me to run doesn't mean I should have…'

A hand on Matthew's shoulder snapped him out of his spiral downward. He looked up to see Alfred standing behind the bench that Matthew was seated on. The fuzzball on Matthew's knit hat rolled in the same direction that his head had tilted in.

"You're getting that look again." Matthew Looked away as Alfred came around the bench to sit by him, their sides were touching. They were practically inseparable these last few months.

"It's getting closer to that day now." Alfred nods at the truth Matthew speaks.

"I've been thinking too." Matthew turned to face Alfred as he spoke in return. "His brother. His _real_ brother—the way he looked when he came and what he did."

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"_I want you boys to listen to me carefully okay?" Arthur received two sullen nods from his boys. "We're going to be having a guest for a few weeks. Feng's brother is coming, and I want you both to behave and show respect."_

"_So soon?" Matthew looked appalled; he didn't want to meet the person Feng may be the spitting image of. _

"_Yes, he'll be here in the next thirty-eight hours." Arthur looked worn. "He has every right to come now. We aren't the only ones grieving after all." _

_That night everyone in the house would be restless, they (they kids) were excused from school, how could Arthur make them go? The two weren't eating well, sleeping, and they hardly spoke at all. Their hearts were heavy and dark; Matthew was finicky and now shared beds with his brother. The two had rearranged the room so the bed was pressed against the wall. Matthew slept against the wall; Alfred would face the door, pressed back near to Matthew so he would rest his forehead on Alfred's back._

_Matthew was not ashamed. _

_They were waiting at home for Arthur to get back, he'd gone to collect _Yào,_ and they ran over what Arthur had told them. _

_Yào understood English fine, don't insult him by speaking too slowly and too loudly and by over pronunciation. It's Wáng Yào, or Mr. Wáng at all times unless Yào said so. Don't offer to shake hands, left first in right palm at chest level with a small quick bow. He'll appreciate it. Be respectful, he's older than even I am, but don't act like he's too old._

_It was a lot to take in. They understood Arthur wanted Yào to feel welcome, but they felt this was all added stress. They sat nearer to each other and leaned against each other in their nervousness. Their heads were resting together—they had suddenly grown together due to these events._

_They pulled apart when the doorknob jangled at being unlocked. Both stumbled to their feet as the door opened, the first one through the door had to be Yào, the first thing through Alfred's head was 'Wow he's beautiful…" Matthew was also a little stricken, 'Is this how Feng would have looked if he'd had the chance?'_

_Arthur came behind Yào carrying his suitcase and sitting it by the coat closet in this foyer._

_The two boys put fists in their palms and bowed, Yào's face then melted, a timid, kinder smile lit his face momentarily; he returned the gesture._

_"It is nice to meet you, finally." His voice held a tonal accent, but he was understandable and it wasn't annoying pitchy. He looked up in the direction where he assumed Feng's room to be. "May I?" He did not look back at them. "Matthew and Alfred will show you to it." When they were leading him up the stairs, they noticed he took them slowly, as though there were something heavy on his shoulders. It became worse when he entered the bedroom, he seemed to bow even more, looking around it with a pale face and glazed eyes._

_The room was simple, very plain actually. The walls were painted a mellow blue. His wood dresser was beautifully crafted. The carpet was soft. He didn't have any toys except for a handheld game system, which laid closed on the bedside nightstand. Yào had stopped before the dresser however; pair of shoes was on it._

_"This is it?" He asks quietly, turning towards Matthew._

_"Yes.." He replies gently._

_"You were there weren't you?" Distressed crept into his voice slowly. "You saw what happened? Didn't you?" Yào seemed to be bristling, it increased when Matthew showed fear and shook his head._

_"I can't! I won't!"_

_Yào felt anger and desperation take him, he grasped Matthew by the shoulders, "How could you hold this one thing from me? What happened, you have to tell me!"_

_Matthew felt tears spring to his eyes. Alfred came between them. "Please let him go! He's not ready to talk about it; we are all sad Mr. Wáng, we loved him too."_

_He stared at Alfred for a long time; exhaustion ringed his eyes and a deep mixture of extreme sadness and anger echoed in his orbs. Very slowly he let off and leaned back._

_"What are you boys doing tomorrow?"_

_It was an odd shift and the two were confused. "We don't have school…" Alfred tells him._

_Yào nodded, heaved a sigh- "You're all weighed down by his spirit, as am I. And it plagues this house as well. He must be unhappy. So we have to soothe him and our hearts so he may rest in peace."_

_"How can we do that?" Alfred asks curiously, a tradition from another country?_

_"With an ancient Chinese tradition, say like, 葬__Zhàng lǐǐǐi(3)._" [1]

_"Zhàng lǐǐǐi(3)?"_

_"Not bad Chinese, Matthew. Very good." The boy blushed and Yào looked simply amused. It was more like the boy had only raised his voice for the tones, but it'd done the job and it was simply too cute. And he was glad, terribly glad that even after his outburst the boy didn't recoil from him, and responded so well to him. He liked to believe he had a way with children… He loved them so… He'd loved his Feng._

_"Make sure you boys get up early for me, okay? It will take a long time."_

_And they listened to him, though sleep was always a restless affair, they managed it decently this night. Their hearts not as heavy as they thought it would be with Yào in the house._

_That following morning was an interesting affair, when the two boys had come down weary and tired with yawns still stifled behind drooping fingers and hair still mused; their adult counterparts seemed much more awake and aware. A cup of tea in Yào's hand, a cup of dull coffee in Arthur's. There were thin, disc shaped pancakes on the table, one plate made with scallions and bits of meat in it, the other a regular sweet and soft type that they were more familiar with. The two boys split the pancakes and ate with interest and then vigor upon finding these were Yào's creation and that they tasted delicious and different from anything they'd ever had before. And when they were full, they sipped quietly on their juice until the other men had finished their drinks._

_After the morning reprieve and sleep had worn off of them all, they drifted to the living room where Yao had spread out colorful sheets of delicate, intricate papers. A pair of scissors and some gentle glue for everyone. He explained carefully what they had to do. "First, we must build a grand house that he will love, for perhaps he feels homeless and he needs somewhere to belong. We will decorate it with all the things he needs. Give him money, company, food. Everything someone needs to be content of happy."_

_And it was a hard process, all of them working together to create a three story tower that had original Chinese architecture in mind. But a wing came off one of the sides that was obviously western or European in style. Before closing off the last wall, they decorated all the created rooms with furniture, they made plates and beds and TV's and games for him. Little picture frames on the walls. The infrastructure of the house was made of long thin pieces of wood, much like toothpicks; they did their job well. Yào cut out a companion or two, Matthew cut out a bear and drew on it to resemble a teddy panda bear, while Alfred cut out a dog for him and put it in the 'yard' of the creation they had just made. The entire structure was glued onto a square of cardboard, and after assuring that there was no wind outside that would ruin it, they all carefully took it outside. The small pancakes were left on the cardboard, and some candies and cake. Yào left a little red envelop near the house as well that held a small sum he could get away with burning. With some courage, the others had added a few Canadian and US dollars as well. "Is there something you want to say to him? Write a few sentences on paper as well if you like, they'll get to him." And so the boys did as Yào said, and they came back with little folded squares. They placed these by the house, and then Yào handed them each a tiny lighter. They each lit a corner of the cardboard, all at the same time on cue by Yào. And they all watched as the flame slowly grew, eating up their notes, their food, their money, and then in a blaze that lasted only a few seconds it ate up the colorful house they created, the smoke from it all billowed in gentle waves up towards the sky, a higher breeze whisking the ashes and smoke into the heavens. Curls of seared cardboard were left behind, but that was the only trace that was left after the mini inferno, they stood around the remnants, tears hanging from all of their eye lashes._

* * *

_No…_

_There was a feeling in his broken chest, a struggle for air, a struggle to warm frozen flesh and blood._

_No… _

_He did not want to be awake, he did not want to feel pain anymore!_

_No!_

_With a start his eyes snap open, staring up into the canopy around him, and then slowly, ever so slow glassy orbs move, so that his peripheral clears and all around him he can see wolves. Their snarling faces look like gleeful smiles, their muzzles wrinkled as they growl and snip their jaws. One even dips its head to a trail of dried blood in the snow to sniff it, but it does no more than that, looking up at him with it's neck bent like that, it's eyes a dark brown and glistening. They're sitting all around him, this small pack of brown, grey, and white colored wolves. When looking into those eyes, the battered boy laying in the snow could see himself. Thought he was only seeing his reflection before suddenly with a vertigo inducing flip he realized he is looking /at/ himself through the eyes of this wolf. _

_Then he feels a snap in one of his legs at the knee cap, and his body jolts and arches wildly with a silent scream on his mouth. It had taken him by surprise that he hadn't even known to conjure a scream of pain. He felt like his blood was flowing again as suddenly everything was searingly hot. His mouth, his arms and fingers, and especially his knee's downward. His skin seemed to boil and blacken and stretch, his muscles felt like they were lashing around each other, trying to find a hold on tendon and torn bone. And finally he bubbled up a scream, the scream called to him the crows who watched from branches with beady eyes, the scream which laid the ears back on all the wolves and had them shuffling to their bellies submissively and whining in agitation. _

_This boy, he flipped onto his side and curled when movement suddenly came to him, clawing at his head with hands that suddenly felt too sharp and coarse to be his own. His head was pounding, his jaw ached, and blood freshly spewed from his lips as he gnawed them in his stress. He knew his body was still… it /had/ to be breaking, but something had whisked him off to another world. Like a protective arm had suddenly shielded him from the pain his body was suddenly in. He had no idea what, but it had to have been days he'd felt like this, the excruciating pain had come and gone. Just as the wolves had, they would hunt, and then come back and watch him. He would writhe and change under their eyes and ever loyally they came back to watch. And when he stilled under the pain, they stood and drew closer to sniff at his twitching body, and to whimper. _

"_**Feng." **__Words in his head which drowned out the previous pounding, a calm swept over him. He knew this voice… "Dad…" ...__** "My dear Feng, my boy. Do not forget who you are, wherever you are. You are my kind, and gentle son. Your going has broken my heart, I love you and I miss you. But I want you to be happy, and I want you to be at peace." **_

_Then he heard a more urgent one._

"_**Feng!" **__Ah… Alfred? "__**You have to forgive me! If you're angry, be angry at me. I should have seen it all, but I was so dumb. I wish I could have protected you like a good big brother. I'll never be the same, I promise for you I'll be more responsible, I'll look after dad and everyone. I promise. Please, please forgive me. I love you, don't be angry anymore, don't be in pain. I am here, I'll always think of you. I love you!"**_

_Hot tears were running down his face, he felt the protective barrier of love and family enveloping him, saving him from this pain-and it was growing steadily, protecting him more, and more._

"_**Feng I should have been there, I should have never left your side." **__The timid warmth of Matthew pressed against his mind. __**"I hate that I ran, even though you told us to. I wish I had stayed by your side. Nothing will ever be the same without you, Feng. Strange men came to talk to Kiku, Alfred, and I. Help me have strength to protect them, Feng. Where ever you are, don't leave me, watch over us. If you can't find rest, find rest in me and my love. And if you're cold, find warmth in my heart. Don't forget our love, don't forget my love…"**_

_How were these messages of the heart getting to him? __Zhàng lǐǐǐi[3]__! That had to be it! Then he heard the last of it._

"_**Don't let evil touch your heart, my precious Xiǎao(3) fènghuáng** [2]. __**Be like your name sake, my little phoenix. But let light and happiness be your guide. Let love keep you warm, and family keep you happy." **__Yào! Yào it's you! Please I want to see you one more time! Big brother! __**"I am here, little brother. Rest. Go to sleep." **__He saw a worn, tired face. A face tear streaked but beautiful as only his big brother could achieve. __**"Do not let bloodlust control you, and hate to lead you. Remember all of our love and find peace and calm. You are my kind and gentle other half, I will miss you, and I will always love you. Now sleep…"**_

_No, No Yào please! I don't want to, I don't… Want… Don't leave me… Alone…_

_The body which had shook in tears now convulsed, the seizures becoming less and less until eventually the body was still, blackened with blood and blurred by snow as it laid curled tightly into itself. At the suddenly stillness, the wolves released a triumphant howl in their rising and falling harmonies into the sky, their heads tilted up and their ears back. Prancing and trotting around the body with renewed energy as they sang, ever guarding it for now, their calls had brought forth a bear which had been awoken from it's sleeping by the power in these calls. It sat by the body, chased off every fox and big cat that came too near. _

_The cry of the wolves were heard that night by everyone in town, they all sat chilled to their seats as they listened. Kiku laid wide eyed in his bed, clutching at the covers and shivering. Matthew clung to Alfred in his bed, Arthur and Yào rubbing both of their backs as they cried in fright. _

'**Feng!' **_Was the resonating shout in the three children's heads that night. _

* * *

1.) Zhàng lǐǐǐi[3]: For some reason it wont let me use Chinese characters, nor will it let me use the third tone for Chinese pinying. But Zhàng lǐǐǐi[3] essentially is a special ceremonial funeral. I suppose it is used when you don't have a body. Or if you've laid the body to rest, but their spirit is angry and plagued, this is supposed to make them happier and help them rest. In which you build for them an elaborate house and fill it with all the things they could have ever wanted and needed.

2.) Xiǎao(3) fènghuáng: Or, little phoenix. Once again I couldn't use the third pinying tone. fènghuáng is the full name I have given to Hong Kong, when I created him over 5 years ago. I just never used the full name. Only used Feng. It was when the creator of Hetalia merely gave him a body and what he represented. I chose him to RP, and so spent a couple weeks on his history and attitude so I could name him. Xiao, for little or small is an affectionate term usually put at the beginning of a younger siblings name.

If someone could perhaps tell me how to incorporate Chinese characters, that would be really great.

Sorry for basically giving merely a filler chapter, but I feel it was needed? Also sorry for any time discrepancies or if somethings make little sense, you know, it's hard to turn pictures and actions in ones mind into words on a screen. Feel free to review with a question and I'll message you back to answer it.

Hope you enjoyed, leave a review with suggestions or ideas and I'll get back to you/they may appear in the forth chapter.

Thank you,

-Daedricgurl


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